Do we put it out of its misery?

Well, I have moved from Phoenix to Boise Idaho. I never thought there would be so much horsepower here, and this is my proof. What we have here is a genuine Italian sports-car! We took the hand crafted engine out and replaced it with a direct form the factory Toyota MR2, in fact many of the parts, including the interior, frame, and much more were replaced by MR2 parts. In fact, the only thing that is Ferrari is the name... and that was even done badly. Don't fret, because the back end was replaced by a Mitsubishi 3000GT or an Eclipse, I can't tell, so at least you get something more than an MR2 out of it. Out of all of this, the cream in the twinky is that this car is for sale. That's right, some salesperson at a car dealership in Caldwell has to explain why he is selling an MR2 dressed up as a Ferrari to some poor sap that is willing to throw down $6k on this thing.

High Grade TMH.

So I found out that people as far north as Idaho have too much horsepower. While looking for some parts for my brothers new computer we stopped by the local Best Buy and found this beauty. I was trying to capture her best side as fast as I could before the car sped away. I figured that with such precision that the spoiler was added on that the car must have some AI in like K.I.T.T. did.

Next on the list of TMH we have some sort of inbreed version of the General Lee. I think this one would be called Generally Inbred. The owner was proud to show her/him/it off as he hooked up his trailer... Wait, I never knew the General Lee had a tow hitch! Maybe he could not get a pure bred GL due to still being in college.

What are your thoughts?

Jet set

I was moseying down the I-10 in Tempe heading south when I almost missed this one. 

It screamed by at speeds faster than 5 o'clock traffic. This little bugger had to have a new part unknown to the general public because not only did it scream, like really loud as it went past, 

it had an afterburner, because I was eating its dust! It tasted a lot like burnt tacos and tar. I had to get a few shots off with my cell phone so I pushed down the peddle and after a few hundred yards I was able to catch up to it, snap off a few and get a friendly California hello shot back at me.  I would say this thing was pushing well past legal limits on burn off to horsepower ratio. Al Gore may need to get in on it and do a whole documentary on it.

I chose you Biccachu!

Trying to look inconspicuous while diving down the road I snapped these of the infamous Piccachu BMW. I hear that it is some toyota, or nissan. You can see the hood of my Mustang in one and the window clearings as I try to be sly and take it from the side. I was afeared I might not get the second shot. I just did not want to come across all crazified. I still hunt this one, I need closer pictures, I need to ask the owner questions, like; "Are you for real?" "How many people think your car is a Beemer?" "Where are Biccachus bred?" 

If you have any questions I should ask, please, let me know what they are, and together we will help disturbed individuals disturb us.

Lazy and slow...

...That is what I have to say about me the last few months when it comes to our precious TMHP. I have several photos stored away of some cars in my phone but have lacked the inspiration to post them up.

I have been hunting a "BMW" ricer that has been seen near 67Th ave and Peoria on multiple occasions. I hear that it may not even be a Beamer, which I am grateful for if that is true, I would hate to have the beloved propeller logo put to shame. For some reason I feel like yelling "I chose you Piccachu!" when I see that yellow car...

So the hunt goes on, and when I get the chance I will post what I have captured. The tragedy of useless car add-ons still plagues our fair city, lets do what we can to mock it.

JP

Spanish rice

I am a family man and this brings a tear to my eye. I love the plant pot on the driver side window. And the genius in having all the stripes to add HP is beyond anything I ever thought of. Please, I have no more words. I cry...

A knew kategory

In my travels I run akross a knumber of different wayz to spell certain wurdz. It haz okkurred to me that our beluved kakeboyz have diskovered that adding a "z" or a "k" adds horsepower.

Knote the above exzample. .5 for eech lettur. The folks in Apatche Junkshun are luvin dis won.

Exhaust(ed)

Never mind the oversized fan/tail/aerolift. Please disregard the Kenworthesque top lights afixed to the rear of the roof. Look away from the golden rims spinning carelessly across the hardball.

If I hadn't highlighted the tail pipe - yeah, for the folks in AJ Beverly Hills Cop reference - you might have missed it. This cat has graphite tape mounted on the plastic crash piece, sanded in and shellaqued (did I spell that word correctly?).

Graphite protecting the rear crash piece - matching the hood and the color of the interior - that must at least reduce the drag coefficient such that it adds horsepower. As you might have noticed, I am behind this individual, milking my V8 for all it's worth, and I still lag behind.

Exhausted. If only I had graphite.

J.

Earth First

In an effort to "go green" the Dukes have traded in their gas-guzzling, guilt-inducing Charger for a eco-friendly, feel good Suzuki X-90. Cooter will be over soon to weld the doors shut.

The Dukes' carbon footprint was growing rapidly due to increased crime-fighting requirements in Hazzard County. Meanwhile, Boss Hogg had suspended funding for carbon credits to feed his fried chicken habit, forcing the Dukes to dig into their own coffers for carbon offset financing. Furthermore, a study had shown that each time the Duke boyz jumped over a river, the Charger's oil pan suffered damage and leaked Texas Tea into the soil, damaging the fragile eco-system in rural Hazzard County. The possums would ingest this tea and as a result the patrons at the Boar's Nest were becoming ill.
The X-90 has a higher ground clearance allowing for huge jumps to be executed in an earth-friendly manner. Now, the X-90 has significantly less horsepower than the Charger. Not to worry. Since "man made" global warming has put the earth's prairies and meadows in a headlock, the rivers aren't as wide. This allows the X-90 to take the same sweet jumps using 1/2 the required horsepower (as noted in picture).
What about Roscoe's Plymouth Fury? Gone. He's on a Segway.

Wax on, Paint off

So the wife and I along with the child were winding our way back to the West side and something odd kept happening. I thought we were caught up in some loop, but it seems as though this car was going so fast that it past us 3 times. I thought the lack of paint on the hood caused such a horsepower increase that he actually warped the space-time continuum. But then it hit me like the SUV that was about to when i slowed down to take this shot. The guy was practicing weaving through traffic. I am amazed that someone would take the time to do that, the intelligence level needed to know that one must eventually use this skill, like if all the cars on the road were stopped as if there were traffic, and you knew that COPs was on in 15 minutes and you just had to catch the last five minutes of Pokemon, or whatever anime show you watch that is on before COPs, possibly on some other television station.
Well, all American man who drives a Japanese car, I salute your efforts and dedication to the art of the weave, may you cause no accident that may make you replace your hood and front bumper with parts that don't match your cars color. May the caps to your wheels never be lost to such a mishap, may you be on time always to watch rednecks and big eyed kids fight those things they see as evil.

Gauges? We don't need no stinkin' gauges!

Yes. It's for sale. Notice the 623 on the sign as validation of a local sighting.

Gauges are the order of the day. Whilst this jpeg is not entirely indicative of the number of gauges, rest assured they exist. There are 4 total. 3 mounted in successive sizing along the interior window molding and one larger "tach" glaring at you center-left of the steering wheel.

It is a multiplicative, which means more than additive for the AJ folks, force when it comes to horsepower. The gauges don't actually have to do anything, well at least they don't have to measure anything, in order to have full effect. The mere presence of a gauge can so overwhelm the driver, passengers or opponents as to have the obvious effect.

That is to say, it must be sold. Relinquished. Abdicated. Cast off to the lots in the far west side. That is the only clear solution for a car with too much horsepower.

Colors of the rainbow

I have been trying to snap this one for a few weeks. I have not been able to due to how protected this specimen is by the others near it, usually a truck or car protects it at the rear, preventing a look at its mystical beauty. It is near my house and I am always amazed when I see it. It is not the fact that it is purple when you are coming at it from the east, or that it changes to blue then green as you pass it. It is not that the car gets like 35 mpg... well maybe it is... No, i is the fact that this 92 HP demon retails used for $1300 and there is a $1300 paint job on it. My numbers are such: Prep: $500; includes body work, bondo and primer. Paint: $400 per pint, 2 pints for the car if done right with 2 layers. Application: $200 - cheaply done right again, there are way too many cars i see pass me that I cringe because i can see the color difference and the dimples from shoddy work. $200 for clean up, clear coat, and disposal of crap. Now I could be TOTALLY wrong on these numbers, all because I am a back country hick form Idaho, but that is what I find on the web. Now I know this could have been done by the owner and cost much less, but still... Why? Why waste it? Either the pony or indian on either side would have been a better investment of that time/money/effort. Although I would be writing up on them at this point if that were the case.

Spotted behind Albertson's 51st & Cactus. Tow truck on right, Police car in center and Indy Pace Car on left.

Pop the hood and look at the range (where you keep the horses, for you readers in Apache Junction) on a 1990-ish Honda Civic DX and you'll find a beefy power plant that puts out a robust 92 horsepower. I'm not sure why this man is having his rocket towed, I just snapped the picture and took off. He didn't look like he was in the mood for an interview.


I think he got some new rims, which OBVIOUSLY boosted the horsepower. Then he got on the road and noticed that the extra power was too much to handle, even though he had the spoiler on the trunk to hold the back end on solid asphalt. So, he pulled over and said "I'm out". Called the cops and the tow truck to come get it.

OR

After being pulled over for going Mach 2 down Cactus, the cop said "Sir.....you are CLEARLY IN OVER YOUR HEAD!! YOU'RE DONE... STEP OUT OF THE CAR!!"

Props to this gentleman for putting a Honda sticker on the back window so other drivers can see what just passed them, or in this case, what they just passed on the tow truck.

A 101 fledgling...

At first glance this looks innocent enough - not a cakeboy in the strictest sense of the word, but at closer, let's say with NODS you will find something sinister. A hint of things to come, and, I might add, a whole new twist on horsepower.

NHRA stickers coupled with NASCAR #3 and #24 car emblems combine for -0.36 L to this already stellar 2.0 system. DOHC? I don't think it matters. Clean lines, no spoiler, no emblems of yesteryear, just decals from the fruit basket that is racing.

Why post this? I will tell you why. If I ever put a Don Prudhome Mongoose AND and Cobra sticker on my Big Wheel, I would have been laughed out of the trailer park. NASCAR and NHRA have no business on the same silicone-based viewing system hecho in Mexico.

Or, does this wily driver know something we don't? Are they tapping into a well of liquid goodness that we had yet to uncover? A call to arms! We must be more vigilant in our search, we owe it to our loyal base.

Quasi-poll

Since I am just an "author" of the TMHP? Blog, I cannot access the "layout" section of the blog. I would like to petition the Grand Poobah, Lord Chief Justice, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Master of the Buckhounds, Lord High Auditor, Groom of the Back Stairs, and Lord High Everything Else....or for those of you in Apache Junction......Jarret, to post a new poll.

Poll:

Should TMHP? blog-fodder be gleaned from internet cache, or from actual pictures taken by TMHP? members and their esteemed colleagues?

Phoenix is a big city. There are plenty of misguided sticker hounds and bondo-boys in our own back yard.

Drums please...

In the interest of blog decorum, I must introduce our newest member of the TMHP? staff. Welcome Brigham by way of Cornhusker row.

Known the world over as a artiste (note the e on the end for flavah) on the softball field and the DaVinci of potato (no e for those from AJ) guns. He can and has broken fingers of lesser men than he.

Already coming through like Schilling in a clutch on his posts. Putting fine automobiles before he and his family moistens my tear ducts.

We are honored sir, by your wordsmithing, your photographic essaying, and your overall presence.

My eyes, ahhhh... wait, that is just allergies

I am confused!! I cannot tell if this is a Honda, Eclipse, or Integra. I assume it is a Honda due to the small emblem on the rear. Now I admit, I found this one on the web and there are plenty to find on the web, but yet I could not resist, all because I am a huge fan of the color "Racing Grey". I believe it actually helps you go faster, just like all the additional spoilers and bumpers and tail lights from other cars. The fact is it perplexes me because I cannot figure out how much horspower it has. Dual exhaust for a 4 banger, rear lights from a Mitsubishi Eclipse, 2 spoilers, and a front end from an Acura Integra, and massive ammounts of "Racer Grey". This is far beyond anything that my small brain can handle.

For some reason I have the song 'I Believe I Can Fly' going through my head right now.

Too Much Horsepower? Ask Uncle Jesse

Driving in Sun City today; Ya, Sun City and saw this. I saw it out of my peripheral vision (the side of my eye, for those of you in Apache Junction) and thought.....NO WAY.... I pulled over and got a picture of it but since it was early in the day, the sun washed it out so I went back at high noon. Glad I did. Luckily I saw the driver getting out before I approached. This old cat looked just like Uncle Jesse from The Dukes of Hazzard. It gets better. Click here to see just how serious Jesse is.




He's got this thing souped up to rip a 14 second 1/4 mile and more than doubled the horsepower (to a whopping 115).

Check this one out for more:

That site has more pix and a sound bite of him on his best 1/4 mile run.

As a man speaketh...

And so it was, we speak of a foreign car with a Mustang spoiler and here we have it, this car has a hauling 125 hp stock busting out of its V-tech engine. Add 15 Hp for an exhaust that not only makes it move like greased snot shooting from a cannon, it also sounds like an angry bumblebee stuck in a megaphone. Now the kicker is that if this were any old mustang spoiler it would only ad like 8-9 HP roughly, but since it is a Saleen Mustang spoiler, well, that is a whole new level of inter-market car breeding. If my calculations are correct, and they may be wrong, but I got an estimated 31-33 hp for that. Now if it had a big red R on the side of the car it may have leveraged it to 35 hp. Bringing this car to an estimated total horsepower of 171-173. It can almost take on a 3.6 Mustang, but that is pushing the envelope.

All in all I should point out that I did not get a look in the engine of this car, so it may surprise me and not even be a V-tech engine. But I leave you with this question; do european lights give more horse power or torque? Or could they be useful/less in some other way all together?

The flood gates open.

The question has been asked, hundreds if not thousands of times (maybe twice...) "Does a spoiler from an American icon sports car make foreign cars go faster?" By popular demand, and the great state we live in, and because I said so, I say yes.
If you see a car that is obviously inbred with some other car to create a hybrid superfast American-muscle-car-spoiler-on-an-import or maybe even an eighties-"please-don't-get-that-rust-on-my-car-and-isn't-that-a-supra-spoiler?"-roadster out there, please let us know, get your camera phone out, send them in. As often as we come across these babies, we do not come across them often enough. So we ask you, all your friends, and maybe that cop that pulled you over for looking good--real good--to send us your pictures to toomuchhorsepower@gmail.com.